The Koopalings Get Jobs
by megahammer11
Summary: Bowser forces the Koopalings to get jobs, but there are unforeseen consequences.


Chapter 1: No More Schemes

The Koopalings hadn't been in school for 29 years, since Bowser yanked them out of high school to aid in his plots to kidnap Princess Peach. But now he felt they had been replaced by the Broodals in _Super Mario Odyssey_ , so it was time for them to go back to school.

"Okay kids," he said to them at breakfast one morning," Big news, you're going back to school!" All the Koopalings' spoons clattered to the floor.

"WHAT?!" Morton shouted," But it's been…oh gosh I don't know how long it's been. I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO COUNT!"

"Shut up, all of you!" Bowser roared," We're gonna be making a risky move. You guys aren't gonna finish high school-."

"NO!" Larry wailed," I wanted me a girlfriend in high school! School's no fun without a forbidden love!" Larry got a dreamy look in his eyes so Roy punched him in the face. "Ow!" Larry shrieked.

Bowser continued," -, instead, You'll be taking a GED."

"What's a GED?" Lemmy asked.

"Does the _G_ stand for girlfriend?" Larry asked.

"NO!" Bowser breathed fire," It stands for General Education Development. It's the equivalent of a high school education, and it fouls up your record when you go to get a job because it means you dropped out of high school. If you pass, you can get into college. If not you retake it. If you pass college, you get a job. That will be your life. No more kidnapping plots."

"But we like your plots!" Roy said," I get to practice villainy!"

"Good," Bowser said," Use that in your career to sabotage rival businesses. Now onto the GEDs…."

"Waaaaaaaaait," Ludwig said, holding up his hand," My IQ is 1,000. I don't have to take this stupid exam."

"That's beside the point," Bowser said," Get in the car."

The car ride was no better than breakfast. There were only five seats in the car but eight occupants. "Lemmy, get in the trunk," Wendy said," Larry, get on the floor. Iggy, sit on the glove compartment."

"Good thinking!" Bowser applauded.

It did not go over well.

"BLEEUARGH, Morton, do you EVER wear shoes?!" Larry asked.

"Whaddaya mean?" Morton growled back," My feet are my shoes."

"IGGY, FOR THE LAST TIME, GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Bowser roared, looking around Iggy, who was leaning over toward him," What are you even _doing_?"

"Cracking off the speedometer needle for a science project," Iggy replied.

Bowser slapped him aside and his head got sandwiched between the driver's seat and the console. "Oh great!" Bowser said," Kids we may have to make a quick swing by the autobody shop to free Iggy."

"Wendy, move over! Let me off The Hump!" Morton shouted, grabbing Wendy and flinging her onto Ludwig, who was sitting on his other side. Wendy groaned and Ludwig was getting jabbed between the legs by Wendy's heels. Morton moved next to the window and heard a thump in the trunk. "Dad, I think Lemmy just passed out!" he called.

"Nobody cares!" Bowser shouted back, then turned to Roy, in the passenger seat," Roy, yank on Iggy's legs to get him out."

Meanwhile, Larry clambered up onto The Hump and said," Ooh, perfect fit."

"WENDY, GET YOUR HEEL OUTTA MY CROTCH!" Ludwig screamed.

Roy turned on the stereo and found his favorite song playing:

 _I wear my sunglasses at night_

 _So I can, so I can_

 _Watch you weave_

 _Then breathe your story lines_

Bowser screamed," Roy, turn that off! You know I hate that song!" Bowser slapped Roy's hand aside and adjusted the radio dial, but not before Morton changed it to _his_ favorite song:

 _Like a small boat_

 _On the ocean_

 _Sending big waves_

 _Into motion_

Bowser asked," Why do you even like that song? It's for girls."

Morton replied," Nah. It mentions wrecking balls and fighting."

"Did you know there is a song named _Wrecking Ball_?" Roy asked.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA-?" Morton replied, astonished.

"Yeah right just encourage him," Bowser said sarcastically.

In the back, Ludwig was trying to lift Wendy, but his expertise was science, not fitness. He couldn't move her, so he ripped off her shoes to alleviate the pain. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," he said. He threw the shoes at Roy because he just wanted to pick a fight.

"Ew! Girl shoes!" Roy exclaimed," Why, Ludwig? You DO NOT want a fight with me! Remember why Lemmy has no teeth?"

Ludwig continued anyway," _Sunglasses at Night_ is stupid."

"What?!" Roy shouted," How dare you insult the magic of Corey Hart!"

Bowser pulled into the college's parking lot and shouted,"Get out or you're grounded for a month!" Everyone got out and walked inside to take the GEDs.

"Dad?" Larry asked," How long is college?"

"Well," Bowser said," College is 4 years, but to get a master's degree, you need to go to graduate school, which will add a few more years on. On average, it would be 6 years before you get a job."

"You won't need us in that time?" Iggy asked.

"I told you, I have the Broodals," Bowser said. Iggy quietly mimicked," _I have the Broodals_."

"So Dad,"Larry asked,"If we-?" Larry was cut short by a scream from Bowser. Larry peeked in the trunk and gasped at Lemmy's purple head. "Oxygen deprivation," Bowser said before screaming," HELP! HELP! WE NEED CPR!"

"A cinnamon pecan roll?" asked Iggy," Mmmmm…."

"NO!" Bowser shouted," You don't even know what CPR is?! Way to fail your GED!"

So as Lemmy was hauled away on a stretcher (he would live to take his GED another day), everyone else walked into the college to take their GEDs.

 **A\N: Did you enjoy it? Hope you don't think it's garbage, I'm writing this late at night. Please let me know what you think in the reviews. Next time the Koopalings take their GEDs and either pass or fail, then Bowser has a surprise about college. And Larry still thinks he has a chance at love.**

 **BoundlessRenegade, sorry I didn't write the Roy and Larry one, I just started getting ideas for this one, but I will still be writing the Roy and Larry one.**

 **Stay tuned….**


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